Oh, you all know at least one. Who knows, maybe you are one. A girl who hates other girls. A girl who says, ‘All my friends are guys.’ A girl who generalizes about other girls, calling them “bitches” and “superficial” and “annoying,” and using all of those things to justify to other people why you don’t have female friends. Here’s a newsflash, cupcake: maybe you don’t have female friends because you’re a jerk and not very pleasant to be around.
feminists won’t take your opinions seriously because you’re a man? woah dude that sucks. as a woman I can’t even imagine. thank god no one has ever devalued my insight because of my sex and gender
My friend Jackie just came over and we made a Hummingbird Cake and it was beautiful and ya’ll should get on that.
Banana and pineapple cake with cream cheese icing.
I smoked one alcohol and my left arm fell off
Changing the way we talk is not political correctness run amok. It reflects an admirable willingness to acknowledge others who once were barely visible to the dominant culture, and to recognize that something that may seem innocent to you may be painful to others.
"MISANDRY IS THE SAME AS MISOGYNY" i scream into the darkness of the abyss, "I DON’T KNOW WHAT POWER STRUCTURES IN SOCIETY ARE."
Again: There is nothing wrong with being pretty! Pretty things are pleasant to look at. The problem comes when “pretty” means “a female human that a male-dominated culture has deemed fuckable,” which is what it has come to mean under that same male-dominated culture. But pretty doesn’t have to mean a person with genetically assigned perfectly symmetrical features and a body that is thin but curvy and that doesn’t need to use a wheelchair to get around, and who is graceful and young and preferably blond, doe-eyed, and white. If you have ever been in love, you know that at the height of it the object of your affections was the most beautiful sight in the world to you, right? So you have to acknowledge that there is a culturally understood definition of what’s pretty, and then there’s what all of us weird, complicated human beings actually find pretty, and those two sets do not line up. Attraction is subject to powerful, mysterious forces way beyond the scope of the dominant beauty ideal. It’s a good idea to tune in to those forces, the ones that tell you what you want and what makes you happy, and turn the volume way down on (a) what everyone else thinks you should want, and (b) what you imagine other people think of you. And while you’re at it, try to think less about how you look, and more about how you feel. (This is not always easy, I know, especially if you are a teenage girl on planet earth.)
It’s the disconnect of being trained since birth to look a certain way, only to have dudes turn around and go, “Don’t you know we hate all that stuff on your face?” Like it was our idea! Like women collectively woke up one day and thought, “Wouldn’t it be awesome to slap a bunch of chemicals and dyes on our faces every morning from now on?”
We’ve got a multi-billion dollar industry doing their best to remind us daily that we need what they’re selling, so don’t act all befuddled about where we got the idea that we looked better this way. Plus, it’s not like men don’t still expect us to look beautiful. They just don’t want us cheating with cosmetics. Hope your face is naturally flawless!
And while we’re talking, don’t you ladies know how annoying it is that you’re all hung up on your weight? Sure, we expect you to have a great body. But don’t be one of those lame girls who orders salads on a date. We like to see you eat!
Most of the time, when men say they prefer “natural beauty,” they don’t mean that they’re ready for us to start leaving the house the way we roll out of bed in the morning. They mean that they want us to look perfect without appearing to try.
Basically, it’s a trap.
Emily McCombs (via interstellardiamond)
the “natural beauty” garbage is so fucking galling
- it’s bullshit disingenuous rejection of responsibility for patriarchal beauty standards
- it hides yet another performance standard: never let us SEE what we are doing to you
- it shows contempt for effort. people are not supposed to try at anything, you’re supposed to be a gifted special snowflake
- and admitting that femininity is effort means fundamentally undercutting the idea that women are flighty and trivial and weak
- and it makes - OF COURSE - the whole thing about dude’s boners, and not the way there are social and financial consequences for not being a little made-up
- and it is so hostile to the idea of self-expression? someone who wears bright red lipstick does not think that people will actually assume their lips REALLY ARE bright red, any more than we assume a dude who shaves his face is naturally hairless, or think that a person wearing a blue shirt actually has blue arms. sometimes we make aesthetic choices to communicate with the world.
- which in and of itself depends on women as fundamentally underhanded. of course even the way we present ourselves is a bald-faced lie
basically it is a Gross Things About The Patriarchy 101 midterm all rolled up into one passive-aggressive bid for a pat on the back over some Nice Guy’s “enlightenment”